The tickets are booked, all the family is excited and you are torn between 2 emotions when you think of the onset of the summer holidays. On the one hand it will be great to get away from normality for a while however, if previous years are anything to go by, you will come home from holidays stressed, tired and in need of a another break.

Chances are, if you approach this years holiday the same as you have approached previous years, logic would imply that the net result will be the same. So, how about this year you try a different approach.

I would like to suggest an approach that has worked for me with incredible results and it involves two simple actions; Planning and clarification of desired outcomes.

Clarifying desired outcomes means asking yourself what would you like to achieve on this holiday for yourself. This line of thinking may sound selfish but in fact is completely the opposite. By getting what you want from the holiday you will be more open, energised and willing to contribute to making the rest of the family’s holiday a success. Scuba diving is my favourite holiday past time. If I get 2 scuba diving outings in during a week away I am more than happy to dedicate the remainder of the holiday to my wife and family. Scuba diving gives me energy, vitality and enthusiasm that I would never get from sitting on the beach, lazing by the pool or doing any of the other standard holiday activities.

The trick is to identify what you want for yourself from the holiday BEFORE you leave and then communicate this to the rest of the family assuring them of all the positive benefits that will ensue. By taking a little time for yourself, you will have more energy, commitment and enthusiasm for them. Invite the other family members to clarify their own desired outcomes also so that you can help them achieve what they want.

I strongly suggest that once everyone is clear about what everyone else wants from the holiday to agree some kind of plan to making this happen. This should be done ideally within 24 hours of reaching the holiday destination thus giving ample time for all the family’s outcomes to be accommodated. The old saying springs to mind. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. Compromises may need to be made but remember this is supposed to be a fun relaxed time so flexibility is the order of the day.

There is a great sense of satisfaction when you are in the plane/car/train/boat home reflecting on the holiday and reviewing the successful accomplishment of your desired outcomes. There is double satisfaction and reward knowing that you contributed in a very positive way to helping the rest of the family have an enjoyable, relaxed and fun holiday to remember for all the right reasons. Isn’t that what holiday are supposed to be about?

I will leave you with this thought. How different will your frame of mind, energy levels and stress levels be now after this holiday compared to previous years? I can safely guarantee that there will be a marked improvement.

For those of you just about to go on holidays or in the middle of holidays, give this a go and see how you get on. I promise you, you will be pleasantly surprised with the results.

As always if you would like to share your experiences, I would be delighted to hear from you. I can be contacted at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

GOOD LUCK!

Fergal O’Connor is a Business and Personal Life Coach working in partnership with his Business and Private clients providing a supportive, confidential, challenging and non-judgemental environment to make their ambitions and dreams a reality. Fergal can be contacted at Synergy Coaching Services, Tel: (061) 467287, email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Limerick Leader 23rd July 2005

Copyright 2005. Synergy Coaching Services.