I am involved in some sports coaching in rowing and the pre season training for most oars people is getting under way around now. This is the time of year when people reflect back on last year to see if any lessons can be learned or what improvements can be made for the forthcoming season. During this process, one of the areas that gets a lot of attention is naturally enough “perceived successes and failures”.

I have noticed that many people particularly in sport and indeed in business define success in very narrow terms such as winning a major race, closing a specific deal, reaching a specific target, in other words an end result and it got me thinking that perhaps this attitude is inherently flawed given that more and more of us are achieving bigger and better things (successes) all the time yet we do not feel successful.

I am not saying that we should not strive to succeed or to achieve worthwhile goals, on the contrary I am a great believer in effective goal setting strategies and the power that setting and achieving goals can bring, however where I think many of us are going wrong is in two specific areas. (1) Not defining success ourselves but instead buying into or indeed selling out to someone else’s definition of success (2) Not placing sufficient value and enjoyment to the actual process of moving towards a goal.

Allow me to elaborate and explain myself a little more. Ever find yourself in a meeting and the boss comes in and says sales have to increase by 10% in the next 6 months and everyone including yourself sitting in the meeting knows that this is completely unrealistic yet no one says anything. The boss is measuring success by the achievement of a 10% increase in sales therefore if this target is not reached you have failed. All this does is it sets the team up for failure before you even get started. What if the boss came into the meeting and asked everyone to share their thoughts on what they would perceive as success over the next 6 months? How do you think the energy would change in the room? I am guessing quiet dramatically and in a positive way. This alternative approach offers 2 main advantages, 1. Quiet often people will suggest bigger and bolder goals than the Manager first came up with and 2. The team have ownership of the success and will therefore be more committed to putting in the effort to make any agreed goal a reality. 3. Even if the goal is not achieved, people while they may be disappointed will be more inclined to focus on how they can improve or what they can learn for the future rather than complaining and getting demoralised.

In relation to not placing sufficient value and enjoyment on the actual process, how often have you come across Managers in Companies or Coaches in Sport where “The end justifies the means” or “Winning at all costs”. The actual euphoria of finally achieving a goal can last for anything from 10seconds to 9 days tops yet these goals can take months and even years to achieve. By focusing solely on the end result you are setting yourself up for a big anti-climax and have missed a great opportunity to actually learn from and enjoy the journey. In my opinion the journey to achievement is far more valuable in terms of learning, growth, teamwork and enjoyment than the actual realisation of the goal.

If you achieve great things yet do not feel successful, perhaps it is time to redefine what success means to you and start setting yourself up for success not failure. As Tony Robbins said “It is better to happily achieve, than achieve to be happy”. If you make it easier for yourself to achieve, will you achieve less? On the contrary, you will most likely achieve more because now you will be in a positive, energised frame of mind more of the time and spending less time beating yourself up over apparent failures. The definition of failure I have adopted for myself, which a client shared with me, is simply “Action without learning”. I make it very hard for myself to fail and I feel great. BTW – Business is going great; I have a great family life and am very fit and healthy - success.

Until next time, wishing you many successes.

Copyright © 2006 Synergy Coaching Services.